I've been married for 51 years to a wonderful woman. Over this time, I've come to learn from my marriage and from observations of other marriages around me (both good and bad) that there are some pretty foundational traits that are evident in every good one and missing in the bad ones. |
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In the last chapter of Song of Solomon, we see Solomon wrapping up his book on relationships with some final definitive statements about love. He talks about three traits that every relationship must have and they all start with the letter "C."
The first key trait is Commitment. This is the foundation that undergirds every good relationship. Solomon says that "love is as strong as death" (Song 8:6). Commitment is a serious thing because when we commit in marriage to our spouse, we are also committing to a Holy God.
The second key trait is Communication. This is something that takes a lifetime of practice. But it has to be a serious pursuit, especially for us men. In Song 8:13, the Shulammite says, "Let me hear it (your voice)." Talking about what is happening in our life, both the big and small things, and truly sharing with our spouse adds strength to our marriage's foundation. And when communication breaks down, refer to #1.
The final key trait is Compassion. We have to be sensitive to our spouses. Sometimes it is easy to take them for granted, to overlook their feelings, and to be nicer to others. Meeting each others needs, even during the difficult times, is a true act of compassion. And when being compassionate is difficult, refer to #1 Based on what Solomon says and what I've seen personally, your relationship can't go wrong if you concentrate on developing these three C's.
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