Almost as soon as your child begins to talk, you'll start to hear him ask for things. In fact, when an infant cries, he's asking for food or to be made more comfortable. By the time he reaches the age of four or five, his constant refrain becomes: "Can I have this, Mom? Can I have that?" The unending requests for new toys or candy and an "I want it now" attitude may follow you every time you go to the store. Parents want to give to their kids for many reasons.
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It's partly instinctual-back in the Stone Age, "giving to your child" might have meant providing food, shelter and protection. Those urges are still there. Unfortunately, if you give in to every little want and need your child expresses, you are really feeding and nurturing a sense of false entitlement-which I believe can lead to problems later on.
I think it's important to keep in mind that parents and kids get some powerful messages in our society. One of the most prevalent is, "The more you give your child, the better parent you are." Children are also led to believe they're entitled to receive. Commercials, TV shows, movies, and their friends at school all tell kids, "This is the new thing. This is what everybody's getting. If you don't have it, you won't be cool." So it's easy for you as a parent to feel obligated to give to your child-and pretty soon, your child will grow to expect it. This can lead to parents giving much more than their kids need-and sometimes, more than their family can really afford.
Children also get a false sense of entitlement by being overly praised for things, and rewarded for tasks that they should be doing as a matter of course. There's nothing wrong with rewarding achievement and excellence, but it becomes a problem when you reward mediocre efforts.
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